Hanging + Saving Relationships
This week’s movement: Developing One Arm Hangs
This exact series of progressions is how I went from a dodgy shoulder to a Tarzan shoulder.
Point A was a tentative, I-could-tear-something-feeling one arm hang (for 10 seconds tops)
Point B, was the ability to jump and grab a 10 foot bar with one hand and hang from it for 30 seconds (easily).
It took me less than 3 months, training hangs using this protocol 2-3x per week.
What makes the one arm hang special is that it’ll nudge you toward a far deeper understanding of how your shoulders work.
Shoulders are complex. By design, they’re very free to rotate — and the joint is essentially made up of two relationships:
1. The ribcage-scapula relationship
2. The scapula-glenohumeral joint relationship
So in simple language it’s ribs —> shoulder blades —> shoulder joint… not even including the elbow, wrist and fingers. Simply learning to control the ROTATION in a hang (which becomes the main challenge with one arm hanging) will force you to address the weakest links in this chain.
This is the meta-skill that precedes all upper body movement.
— swimming
— paddling (surf)
— throwing
— handstands
— reaching
— pul- you know what? I don’t have time to list all the benefits. You get the idea.
Just… DO ‘EM!
The barrier to entry is fairly low here. If you can’t one arm hang, just use your feet to make yourself lighter in a regular hang until you’re feeling ready to reduce the foot assistance.
Okay, here’s the video:
This week’s insight: Let People In and Tell Them What You Need
Sometimes when relationship challenges have arisen in my life (any relationship), I’ve been too quick to withdraw, rather than face the discomfort of communicating my needs.
And that self preservation instinct to put distance between myself and “that which is no longer serving” didn’t help, more often than it did.
Obviously, self-preservation and distancing ourselves from threats is incredibly useful in certain situations… Like abusive relationships. But if we’re too biased towards withdrawal, and we abandon ship all the time, the world gets narrower and heavier, rather than more expansive.
Conflating new relationships with better relationships is the mistake.
There is a certain beauty, depth and growth in relationships that simply cannot exist without a certain amount of time passing. And this is because navigating shared life experiences, sufferings and challenges together, brings soooo much potential for connection and mutual understanding.
So the “jump ship” instinct (which, trust me, I get) is often just a symptom of:
— not communicating our needs
— because we don’t know how to do so, in a way that creates bonding, not conflict
I’ve learnt that if I don’t invite people into a clear vision of what I want and need… it is sooo hard for them to love me better.
So it’s on me to advocate for my needs, first and foremost.
The clearer I get on what I need, and the more ownership I take over those needs, the easier I make it for others to give me what I want. Especially if I invite them into my vision, let them know how I’m feeling and SHARE MY HUMAN STRUGGLES befoooooore conflicts arise, not during.
Yeah, people have character flaws.
But if you understood them, you’d see why.
Now flip that around and imagine you’re the subject.
Tell people what you need and are struggling to get, so they can understand you, and see that you're doing your best.
Approach this conversation with the assumption that they actually want to help you, because they almost always are.
<3
This week’s update
I’m working (like a dog — a happy dog) on something fucking epic and it’s still a secret. You’ll be able to take part.
You’ll be the first to know when it’s ready to be shared. I promise.
Till next week...